Heather Graham Asks a Question All Women Should Consider in Candid Conversation About Not Having Kids (2025)

Heather Graham just had a candid conversation about why she chose not to have biological children (because, yes, that is still something women are constantly asked about and forced to validate), and she brought a brilliant point to the table.

In fact, the Boogie Nights star — who thinks it’s “awesome” that more women are being open about not wanting kids — has a question that everyone wanting to start a family should mull over.

“The culture says: ‘You need to have kids,'” she told The Guardian. “But why? If you’re not being a people pleaser, what do you really want?”

Louder for the people in the back: “If you’re not being a people pleaser, what do you really want?”

Reports from Psychology Today and surveys from YouGov show that women are largely people-pleasing and are more likely to make their decisions to please others than their male counterparts. And so Graham wants to know, if a woman were to take away the expectations of others — their loved ones, the vice president, an NFL kicker, etc. — would they want to have kids? Either answer is valid and worthy — so long as it’s the truth.

Plenty of celebrity women have chosen not to have biological children for a whole host of reasons, and they are (gasp!) happy with that decision. Even if they have “what if” moments just like anyone can have about so many facets of their lives.

“Ithink I’ve had moments where I wondered, ‘What would it have been like if I had a kid?'” Graham said, per Us Weekly. “I guess I would say 80 percent of the time I feel glad I don’t have kids, and I feel free and really good about it, and maybe 20 percent of the time I wonder what would it be like.”

“You just have to appreciate the life you have,” she continued.

At the 2025 SHE Media Co-Lab at SXSW, Chelsea Handler talked about why she doesn’t have biological children. It’s a topic the comedian has been speaking about for over a decade. She told SHE Media CEO Samantha Skey that she and other women who don’t have kids of their own (like Graham!) are “unsung.”

“We can contribute in a million other ways, and there’s a million ways to be valuable in society,” she said. “So I love to really shout that out loud, and I can’t say it enough.”

Celebrities who are doing just fine without kids.

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